Advice

Dear Kris,

My ex-boyfriend just moved back into town, and I’ve been spending most of my time with him. My old feelings for him are coming back, and he’s mentioned that he wants me to date him again. The problem is that I have a boyfriend that I love very much, and I don’t want to leave him. At the same time, I can’t ignore my feelings for my ex. What should I do?

Jen

Dear Jen,

I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you: proverbially speaking, you seem to selfishly want to have your cake and eat it, too. Sorry, but you just can’t have both.

Dear Kris,
The man I’m dating gives me a lot of love and attention, and shows how into our relationship he is. But he is only like this when we’re alone. As soon as we’re in public, especially around his friends, he acts like a jerk and even introduces me as a “friend”.
What am I supposed to do about it?
-Pissed Off

Dear Kris,

I'm tired of being single, but I don't know what to do about it. I'm painfully shy, unattractive, and not interesting enough. Men don't ever approach me at bars or anywhere else. What do I have to do to get noticed?

Jenn

Oh, Jenn.

You sound a hell of a lot like I used to. The old "I'm not pretty enough or interesting enough" syndrome. I know it's not fun, but it's also a bit of a cop-out. It's really easy to sit in a corner and sigh about how you're alone, when every other woman can find someone. But maybe instead you should observe these ladies. Take note.

On a typical night out with the friends, discussions of relationships usually tend to spark hot debates and feed our gossip cravings. The individuals in relationships usually butter-up their partners with flattery and admiration, while the singles drift off into fantasy worlds, wondering where their princes/princesses are hiding, in what bar s/he may be loitering. Romantic relationships hold little importance in my life, but I suppose the scale weighs differently for others. Which brings me to a seemingly endless series of questions: Why must our lives always revolve around entangling ourselves with the complexities of the dating game, with marriage still that game’s elusive prize? Am I seriously running out of time to find a spouse, or are others rushing into marriage? How about if I do not manage to find someone because my life is too occupied by other concerns- are my priorities misplaced? How about if I fall out of love before my hubby-to-be and I decide to tie the knot? Do I then have to start back at square one, lurking until my next partnership prey comes along? Does true love even exist in the first place, and if so, is marriage its ultimate expression?

Dating. The mere mention of that simple word has the ability to make a person smile, yearn, or hyperventilate. While everyone wants a special person in his or her life, one thing is certain: dating isn’t easy. When a situation has you confused and seeking Yoda-like relationship wisdom, who do you turn to? Friends, usually. Family members, in desperate times. But some circumstances require an outside source, an unbiased stranger who can dole out straightforward guidance without worrying about your sensitive ego.

Staff filmographer Tuna met up with Mary, a Fox and the Fiddle bartender, to ask some questions about picking up women at the bar...  We think he's a bit clueless when it comes to these things, so it’s a good thing Mary's here to set him straight!

By Anthony Peter

Just to clear up any confusion, by ‘PTL’ (part-time lover), what I am actually referring to is what most of us would otherwise call the ‘F-buddy’ (I refrain from using the actual expletive, but we all know for what infamous word that letter stands). Over the years, as the figure of the part-time lover has become a celebrity in its own right and been portrayed across many media forums, there have been many pieces of advice written on how to make it easy, breezy and…well, you know the rest. Naturally, when I found myself at a recent PTL fork (a semi-infamous “f” word) in the road, I decided to take a little stroll of my own… all in the name of a writer’s research duty, of course. And while I’ve had some success in the past, it turns out the PTL line is not always such an easy one to walk.

by Anthony Peter

It has been said that “Men are from Mars” and “Women are from Venus,” which to me has always been an interesting metaphor. While I do agree it often appears that men and women operate very differently, I’ve always been more inclined to believe that identity is not so easily boiled down to gender, but rather always dependent upon the individual person. Maybe I’m one-part crazy to believe this, and maybe not. However, when it comes to  love, relationships, and dating, I think it matters not what planet one is from, whether galactically male, female, younger, older, straight or gay, but what laws one follows on one’s own personal planet of love. And with so many planets circling, I think there is one question to which I’m especially certain my own personal philosophy applies: Is it ever okay to make a play for a friend’s ex?